Mike Ma Presents: This Week in Clown World, Feb. 12, 2018

I have reached the point where hopelessness collides perfectly with misfortune.

No matter how many followers and readers I amass, no matter how deeply I retreat into the woods, no matter if the world spins backwards twice as fast — I am devoid of salvation. I am tainted by the modern world’s stimuli, wondering what’s online in-between the sentences of every book I pick up. I am useless, racing to red lights, suffering in the wrong ways.

My back is to the wall; I can retreat no further. As far as history goes I am dead. If there is something beyond I shall have to bounce back. I have found God, but he is insufficient. I am only spiritually dead. Physically I am alive. Morally I am free. The world which I have departed is a menagerie. The dawn is breaking on a new world, a jungle world in which the lean spirits roam with sharp claws. If I am a hyena I am a lean and hungry one: I go forth to fatten myself.

— Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller

Welcome to Clown World.

3D Imaging and Forensic Reconstruction Reveals the True Face of Nefertiti… and She’s Not Black 

Nefertiti, via The Daily Mail

A tweet posted by Expedition Unknown host Josh Gates threw the world of black Twitter into an absolute tailspin, last Monday. Years of insisting the Egyptians were African kings and queens has been (yet again, it’s happened before) disproved by research. None of this matters though, because as the replies show, the black community has decided they don’t agree with the verdict. Their evidence? Concrete statements such as:

“Stopppppp she was definitely black let’s not do this”

“Why is she white?”

“hey josh!!!!! go fuck yourself”

“Can’t ever just tell the truth can you? Smh…”

All this is among endless Beyonce GIFs, Mariah Carrey reaction pics, and other shitty memes. I’m throughly convinced now, actually. They really were kings and queens. Did you know that the Polacks are actually Italian because they both live in Europe?

There’s no point in citing research in your arguments anymore. I’m serious. Why bother explaining your views with data if some user will just spam you with Next Top Model clips and forget it all the next day. 

‘I Cheated On My Boyfriend With My Rapist’

There’s a lot of psychological gold in this.

Lana Hoch of ElleUK tells us, “I knew I should be ashamed and, frankly, worried that my boyfriend—who I’d been with for a year and would go on to date for another three—would find out. But I was neither. Instead, I felt like I’d scratched a hard-to-reach itch. Cheating wasn’t something I took lightly, but whatever deep-seated need I’d satisfied that night was more important than fidelity.”

Reading this article leaves me wondering about a number of things. Did this girl even get raped? Did she just get wasted and banged really hard? Is this all an extremely elaborate Oceans Eleven-tier plan to cheat on a boring boyfriend?

I kid of course! I’m sure everything she’s told us is credible.

I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters all the same. They love being dominated.

The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde

Cornell Frat Punished For ‘Pig Roast’ Sex Contest

CBS News reports, “A fraternity at Cornell University has been placed on probation for conducting a sex contest members dubbed the ‘pig roast’ in reference to the weight of women they slept with.

In case of a tie, the win would go to the member who had sex with the heaviest woman.”

Is this the new face of the burgeoning fat acceptance movement? Is this peak male feminism? Something tells me Cornell’s Varsity Chubby Chasers are in line for some heavy praise from the left.

The reality of this situation is this is nothing compared to the other games fraternities play. If Cornell is this upset about this, I don’t want to know what happens when the number of male rectal injuries on campus starts to catch attention.

The Entire Black Panther Movie Commotion

I can’t even be bothered to find the unending list of articles praising the Black Panther movie for its “diversity” or its “braveness” or whatever else it may be. Vox of course wrote about it, and as you could probably surmise, it’s fucking stupid.

Black Panther

Black Panther

Here’s the harshest truth for modern black America: this drawn-out, less appealing sequel to the civil rights movement of the 1960s is embarrassing. The biggest problem on your plates right now isn’t social injustice, it’s more or less you killing the shit out of each other. Equal to that is the victimhood complex holding black Americans down; you aren’t in danger of extinction, realize this.

I get it. You grew up learning about the badass Civil Rights Era, full of excellent aesthetics and strong music. You saw pictures of armed Black Panthers taking a stand against a country that ruled against them for years and years. You heard MLK Jr. deliver a speech from the capital of America, inspiring millions. I get it, you want that again, but it’s done. You were born too late. The rights are civil and the rules are about as fair as they’ll get now.

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.

-Karl Marx

As long as you continue to make music, movies, and art in the name of this imaginary campaign, nothing will ever come out well. You can only fake this for so much longer until not only the world gets sick of it, but you do too. You’ll come to despise yourself for dragging the true leaders through the mud. You’ll make more enemies than you can bear to fight. You’ll undo centuries of work, all because you couldn’t set aside a day of introspection. Much like on the streets of Chicago, your enemy isn’t the “white oppressors,” but violence in your own communities. 

Next time you want to go outside and scream about something that doesn’t exist, stay in and read literally anything. Read Karl Marx, or cut out the middleman and read Hegel. Read the Holy Bible. Read something other than whatever keeps making you angry about dumb shit. Maybe do yoga, it needs more black people anyway.

CA Lawmaker Dem. Cristina Garcia, Who Helped Start the #MeToo Movement, Is Under Investigation for Sexually Harassing and Groping a Former Male Legislative Staffer.’

Like most other Clown World stories, this speaks for itself. The entire series could be without my comment, but that wouldn’t be very much fun for me.

Garcia, via LA Weekly

Long story short, some staffer boy reportedly got groped by the woman:

“He said she cornered him alone after the annual Assembly softball game in Sacramento as he attempted to clean up the dugout. Fierro, who said Garcia appeared inebriated, said she began stroking his back, then squeezed his buttocks and attempted to touch his crotch before he extricated himself and quickly left.”

“She came back and was whispering real close and I could smell the booze and see she was pretty far gone,’’ he said. “She looked at me for a second and said, “I’ve set a goal for myself to fuck you.”

And before you question his judgement and search for Garcia on Google Images, don’t bother. She looks exactly as you’d imagine a California democrat. Men are impulsive badboys often times — if she was even remotely attractive, she’d of gotten some in the dugout. 

‘The Booming Marijuana Industry Is Still Too White’

In the spirit of Black History Month, here’s yet another black culture article.

Mic’s Darnell L. Moore blabs on about the exploding legal marijuana business, how there’s only one black women taking advantage of it in Colorado and how there’s too many white people. The entire argument reads like an patronizing call-to-action for more black people to start selling weed.

the devil’s lettuce, via High Times

“If marijuana legalization presents the possibility of economic relief — or dare I say, reparations — to those overcriminalized over the years for marijuana use and sale, like black Coloradans, that possibility is far from a realization. Colorado issued 833 recreational licenses (322 for stores) and 1,416 medical licenses (505 for medical marijuana dispensaries) as of December 2014. Yet, James is the only black woman in the game. Clearly, the ‘green rush’ is still too white.”

While I’m sure Darnell has the purest of intentions, it sounds to me like he’s accusing blacks of lacking the ambition to sell weed. He goes on to discuss how black kids have been getting thrown in jail for the past 40 years over marijuana, and now as the drug becomes okay in the eyes of the law, whites are profiting more. 

My interest in the article faded until something on the sidebar of mic.com caught my eye:

Here’s How Much You Can Save By Skipping Alcohol at Your Wedding and Serving Weed Instead

Hey young black entrepreneurs, here’s your golden ticket! As we all know, decadence is totally in right now and nothing is more decadent than destroying American marriage ceremonies with shitty street drugs. Fuck this planet.

Human Eggs Grown To Full Maturity In A Lab For First Time

NBC News tell us, “This latest work, by scientists at two research hospitals in Edinburgh and the Center for Human Reproduction in New York, is the first time human eggs have been developed outside the human body from their earliest stage to full maturity.”

And just like that, a chorus of Western women sing a sentence they’ve come to understand: “The Industrial Revolution and it’s consequences have been a disaster for the human race.”

Virtual reality, anime, endless porn, sex robots. The future doesn’t look too good for females (or for any of us, really). Keep one thing in mind — Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner  is set in the year 2019.

 

 Mike Ma is an art director and designer for MILO, Inc. 
 

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