NERDS

Gingers, the World’s Most Oppressed Minority, Could Finally Get Emojis

Emojipedia has announced that ginger emojis could be released in 2018, meaning the minority status of the genetic mutants is being taken seriously.

After the hijab emoji, gingers were the next logical step.

On a global scale, being ginger is rare as just two percent of the world’s population has red hair. Now, steps are being taken to ensure gingers are represented. 

Emojipedia has released a list of possible emoji’s that could be released in 2018. The “TOP OF HEAD WITH RED HAIR” emoji was listed alongside 66 others. 

“Don’t worry redheads: your feedback has been heard!” the Editor in Chief of Emojipedia, Jeremy Burge, said. “The most common feedback to Emojipedia since Apple released iOS 11.1 has been ‘but what about the redheads?'”

Although it isn’t final, Unicode confirmed that if the list is approved next year, gingers would be represented. 

The criticism directed towards Emojipedia for the lack of ginger emojis has been staggering. An online petition was started in Scotland, the ginger capital, which demanded a ginger emoji be introduced. 

“I reach for a ginger emoji at least once a day, so this is the final piece to the emoji puzzle,” on redhead told the Independent. “They’ve been teasing us with the prospect for a while – I hope we don’t have to wait as long as we did for the avocado!”

“At the moment ginger people have to choose either to represent themselves as blonde or brunette and it just seems unfair!” another ginger said. “I can’t wait to finally be able to use an emoji which actually represents me.”

This is a great victory considering gingers are one of, if not the most, disadvantaged minority in history. 

In 2000, scientists discovered that gingers are literally mutants as their red hair is down to a mutation of the (MC1R) protein, which also causes their pale skin. The same mutation of MC1R causes gingers to be highly sensitive to opioid painkillers due to a hormone released into the brain that mimics endorphins. This also means they’re more sensitive to anesthetics. 

If that wasn’t enough, the same mutation causes redheads to be more sensitive to temperature. They feel hot and cold temperatures change faster, and feel temperatures more intensely, than those with normal hair colors. To combat this, gingers internally create more Vitamin D than other races, and those with different colored hair, meaning they don’t have to be out in the sun and risk getting burnt. 

Unfortunately, redheads are also prone to certain types of disease. They’re twice as likely to develop Parkinson’s disease and have an increased risk of suffering from melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer. 

Gingers also rarely go grey, which would be a positive thing if they weren’t ginger, but are genetically the most unattractive group of people on the planet according to a University of Westminster study. French researchers supported this when they found ginger people were more likely to be rejected at a bar.

An Australian study also found that gingers are 86 percent more likely to develop premature wrinkles than those with other hair colors. 

Gingers are much like the X-men, only ugly, and otherwise entirely unimpressive.

Featured Image Via YouTube Screenshot/CopperCab

5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Dante Alighieri

    December 8, 2017 at 6:45 am

    uwrite — “…are literally mutants as their red hair is down to a mutation…”

    Ya, ya, ya. Everything comes down to mutation. And that goes for God & God-believers, too.

    Even God is a DNA mutation. How else do you explain the three-for-one, (God, Son, & Holy Ghost ?? ) commonly known as the “Trinity”. (and yes, the Son was Caucasian.)

    I’ve got no problem with mutations & mutants, so long as they respect my right to incarcerate & execute them. (it’s my right, bro.)

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