Vermin Love Supreme was not horsing around when one of the most hilarious and bizarre free speech cases headed to court in New Hampshire this week.
In the end, Vermin and his gang of ponies reigned Supreme.
The notorious political prankster who once sprinkled glitter on another candidate during a debate to turn him gay, and for years has campaigned on the promise that “When I’m President Everyone Gets A Free Pony,” is winning.
When local authorities made clear their intention to deny Vermin Supreme’s right to protest Hillary Clinton’s book signing event, along with his ponies, America’s favorite political troll swiftly demanded Concord officials pony up and pay him damages. He sued the city.
The case filings point out that in her pitiful excuse-ridden vanity project, sometimes referred to as a book, Hillary derided the idea of “ponies for all,” which just so happens to be Mr. Supreme’s central policy platform.
WHEN PONIES ARE OUTLAWED ONLY PONIES WILL HAVE PONIES. @submedia https://t.co/o4tTIKum9H
From the Plaintiff’s Complaint:
The thirteen-page suit, filed in a federal district court, states Supreme had requested a permit to protest outside the bookstore where Clinton was scheduled to hold a signing event on December 5th. He explained his plan was to bring a couple ponies — no big deal.
According to the complaint, however, written by attorney Marc Randazza, Supreme was informed by Concord’s health and licensing officer Eugene Blake, that while there are no restrictions on having ponies outside, the Concord Police Department had instructed him to deny the permit.
One need not wonder why. But then, something magical happened. Faced with a First Amendment lawsuit, as well as the potential to be forever branded a pony-racist, the city attorney settled with Supreme. “Sweet, sweet pony victory!” the Friendly Fascist celebrated.
Whether you’re yay or neigh on socialized equine, the fact that a seven-time presidential hopeful had to resort to a legal haggle over his lawful right to protest in a way that highlights this “grave injustice,” is very telling. It shows us that, in the interest of not embarrassing The Hildebeast, local officials were willing to completely disregard the First Amendment.
For all her failures, 2016’s biggest loser may as well embrace the ponies, subsidize the ponies, and break that glass ceiling for ponies. Especially non-cis gendered ponies of color. #PonyLivesMatter #FreePonies
Jokes aside, this could have actually been the most important free speech debate of the year. A person’s right to peaceably protest in the manner they see fit is a bedrock of the U.S. Constitution. All the big names do it! Donald Trump protests with tweets, McConnell by crawling into his tortoise shell, Al Franken crawls into others’ shells, and Hillary protests by writing a book that shamelessly absolves her from the utter disaster that was her campaign.
All odds stacked against us, and despite the system’s bias towards protecting the powerful, sometimes justice is indeed served, and the ability to speak our truths to power is something Americans ought to be thankful for.
Suppression is no laughing matter, but perhaps it’s not just anti-pony rhetoric that Supreme could be rallying against. How about workers’ rights for all those poor shills being dragged around the country to appear at Hillary’s dog and pony shows aka book signings? As if there are people who actually want to read her mad ramblings.
The Clinton Crime Cartel should also be pressured to get off their high horses and reduce their carbon footprint, by traveling on pony back. “Come out with your hands up and your pantsuit down,” the boot-headed candidate proclaimed.
After filing a lawsuit against the city of Concord, NH for trying to oppress his free speech rights, the city agreed to a settlement and Vermin Supreme’s pony protest was a success! He and supporters gathered outside a bookstore in downtown Concord, NH with signs and a real, live pony to protest the evil Hillary Clinton who was inside doing a book signing.
Alex Vidal covers free speech issues and the First Amendment for DANGEROUS. He founded Freenauts, the first libertarian rap group.
Sources: Concord Monitor, ABC News
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