Report: Man Dies Performing Face Down Meditation In A North California River

A very intelligent man has reportedly passed away after attempting to perform face down meditation in a North California river.

According to CBS News, 33-year-old Yoav Timmer of Israel is the unfortunate victim of a vicious attack by the current menace known by its medical term, “lack of common sense.”

“There was nothing at that scene that led them to believe that it was suspicious,” said Nevada County Sheriff’s Capt. Shannon Moon.

“Face-down meditation is the first one I’ve heard of in 27 years,” Moon added.

“Kind of blocking out the distractions of mindfulness in a face-down position under water,” she said of the perfectly safe and logical technique.

Timmer was found in the Yuba river where the water pools, meaning there are no strong currents.

“If you love your life and love being here,” said Lucca McCaleb, someone familiar with the river who was surprised that anyone would attempt such a safe and well thought out pastime, “then sometimes I think it’s not worth it to kind of take big risks.”

Moon, who seems to want to spoil the many minutes of fun people can have with this hobby, claims the move wasn’t safe.

“Don’t do this,” she said.

As this practice has now been deemed unsafe, one would expect more people to begin the “Falling Through the Sky After Jumping Out of an Airplane Without a Parachute” (FTSAJOAWP for short) technique of meditation.


Facebook Comments


  1. Steve Corner

    June 25, 2017 at 12:09 pm

    He could have just bought a snorkel and mask. Sheesh.

    • John

      June 25, 2017 at 12:13 pm


    • Dan Fargo

      June 25, 2017 at 12:49 pm

      Or tried the face up version.

      • Steve Corner

        June 28, 2017 at 10:50 pm

        But it’s easier to ‘meditate’ by just letting your limbs hang downwards in the water, instead of trying to avoid getting water in your lungs.

  2. Bawk Bawkbagawk

    June 25, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    working as intended.

  3. John

    June 25, 2017 at 12:13 pm

    darwin award for this guy

  4. Skyfx

    June 25, 2017 at 12:15 pm

    Do yoga to access your mind, but what if there’s a lack of one?

    • David Watts

      June 25, 2017 at 12:41 pm

      That’s why he stayed under for so long — in a vain attempt to access his missing mind. It’s like “Where’s Waldo?”… with no Waldo.

  5. Jean Collier

    June 25, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    Wouldn’t his natural instinct to survive force him up to take a breath?

    • SteppyJ412

      June 25, 2017 at 12:34 pm

      His instinct to prove his meditation abilities was greater.

      • JimmyH

        June 26, 2017 at 5:56 am

        Hmm… sounds like the same suicidal impulse that’s driving the “compassionate” liberal Europeans to destroy their countries & cultures. Evidence & results be damned.. We care so much

  6. deplorable jmarie

    June 25, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    I never get tired of Tucker Carlson’s confused face.

  7. Justin Leeds

    June 25, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    For the sake of Humanity, I hope he didn’t reproduce!

    • JimmyH

      June 26, 2017 at 5:51 am

      That’s my deleted response to John up there. You beat me to it Justin.

  8. Cindy Brooks

    June 25, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Natural selection at work

  9. positively4thstreet

    June 25, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    CBS says “The man’s body was discovered by his friend. They were practicing the same meditation technique side by side.”


    • Tom Smith

      June 25, 2017 at 3:19 pm

      I think that “friend” is fibbing, lol.

  10. Bill R

    June 25, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    where is any proof that we are actually evolving?

  11. Byrne Berggren

    June 25, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    Ahhh but he died at peace with world….. and very, very limber. (at least until rigor mortis set in)

  12. PunJabber

    June 25, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    “Wust case uh sewer-side ah evah done seen since Vince Foster. Jes’ like one uh (((them))) tah trine swim wif mo’ chain — no, wait a goldarn minnit, ah mean …”

  13. zachay

    June 25, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    he might have sneezed by accident….

  14. Tarantula2

    June 25, 2017 at 6:23 pm

    Yuba river’s nice. Go swimming there all the time…

  15. Pat Patrix

    June 25, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Almost broke my leg on the Yuba river. Me and some friends were up there at a summer camp as counselors and we’d go there on our days off. Saw a cool little area where the water went down a smooth rock face that looked like a water slide. It wasn’t. Soon as you went in the current grabbed you and sent you flying directly into a rock wall before dumping you in a pool. It was fun up until that point though.

  16. Regina Rachelle Dispada-Vonder

    June 26, 2017 at 2:32 am

    I have to admit that every time I see that some dumb hippie died in NorCal doing some dumb hippie stuff, I always hope it’s my ex.

    • JimmyH

      June 26, 2017 at 5:59 am

      ‘ Loved it when the “Bear Whisperer” got eaten.

  17. paranormal pelet sesama jenis

    January 9, 2018 at 11:18 am

    But holding my neck and mentioning the proper direction he ordered me, ‘go this way’.

    The Law of Attraction and Mind Reaching – The law of attraction is governed by our minds.
    Because the law of attraction is approximately allowing others their very own opinions and perceptions without judgment and remain on earth you are creating.

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