Hello, darlings! Now listen, lovers of mischief and free speech. I’ve been inundated with questions, and I’m taking a break from watching my skyrocketing sales on Amazon to answer the most important queries you’ve sent in.
Yes! Firstly, and most importantly, MILO is the fairest of them all.
For my US based fans, Barnes & Noble now has DANGEROUS on sale! Please purchase it on paper or for your Nook. Or both! And a couple for your fat sisters and one to slide under your feminist professor’s desk.
We will have other pre-order options available soon. For instance, signed copies! Stay tuned on that front.
Of course we will have an audiobook, and of course I will be recording it myself. The only other person who could possibly do this work of art justice is Mariah Carey, and I’m sorry to say even I can’t afford that.
I’ve received some concerns about whether local independent bookstores will carry DANGEROUS. The truth is: who knows? If bookstores operated purely for profit, they’d rip out the feminism and atheism sections and fill the shelves with compilations of my best Breitbart columns. But so long as brick and mortar stores are still loopy enough to stock Ben Shapiro and Bill Kristol, the best advice I can give you is: stick with Amazon.
For my fans outside the United States, Amazon will carry DANGEROUS in every market it serve. But this is a process controlled by Amazon itself, so it may take some time for hardback editions to become available in every market. Sit tight. We’re doing our best!
If none of these worries apply to you, then you’ve simply been too lazy to pre-order the book. Shame on you!
Now earn back my affection by pre-ordering from either Amazon or Barnes & Noble without further delay: